The Snooze Button

I've always been an early riser. I don't think that's a function of my limited need for sleep or my general embrace of the wee hours of the morning as much as it is a response to my anxious personality. I'm constantly worrying about the things that need to get done and, in my typical fashion, I like to scratch items off of my to-do list long before they are due. So I wake up early to face the day and to begin the scratching.

I'm not sure those last few words sounded right...

I've diagnosed myself with W.O.C.D., Whimsical Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. No, it may not be an actual condition, but it describes me because I'm sorta' ODC about certain things, but not so much so that it gets in the way or impacts my life. Kinda of in a laughable, whimsical way. For instance, I wash my hands. A lot. I'm a mysophobe, (mysophibia is the fear of germs, if you didn't know). I have been so ever since I was a little kid and my mother told us not to walk barefoot in hotels rooms lest our feet turn to stone. My fear of germs only compounded when I was diagnosed with salmonella years ago.

I also have some other minor OCD-ish routines I perform during the day. When I was in high school I would check my alarm no less than 10 times before I went to bed, fearful that I would oversleep in the morning. And beginning in high school, I started to set my alarm at odd times: 5:52, 5:44, 5:36... Depending on the amount of extra sleep my alarm clock's snooze button offered, I would back up from the time I needed to actually be up in "snooze increments". I loved those extra few minutes, and yet I was not willing to sleep past my designated wake up time. So if I wanted to enjoy the blessings of snooze, I had to trick myself into thinking I was given those extra minutes. I so enjoyed waking up knowing that I had extra time to sleep that, at my craziest, I would set the alarm for, say, 2 or 3 or 4, wake up, and then reset the alarm for 5:28, when the snooze routine would commence. I know, I should have gotten that checked out by a doctor!

 These days I check my alarm just 2 or 3 times and then set my alarm exactly 14 minutes, 2 snooze increments before I need to wake up. Today that meant my alarm first sounded at 4:31 (sorry, Rachel!) and I was out of bed at 4:45 to prepare myself to head to the gym for my morning training swim.

I'm usually up early, but often still feel quite sleepy. Snooze has its important place in my life, but because I don't ever use it to actually get more sleep, it never leaves me feeling more rested. But today, at that early hour of this dark and cold morning, I checked my email and I was soberly awakened by an old college friend named Adam.

When I was studying at Union College, Adam was in the graduate program. He and I connected over our love of cycling. Adam and I rode many miles together. I rode with others as well, but the only one I remember aside from Adam was Hugh, an English professor. I remember Adam as a strong cyclist. I always struggled to keep up with him in the hills and I know that our hours together on the road made me a stronger cyclist.

Adam woke me up twice in one day back in my college years. During my freshman year there was a big bike race scheduled somewhere in the hills outside of Schenectady. I planned to do the race but, as it approached, I forgot all about it because I was rushing a fraternity and was caught in "hell week" in the final days leading up to the race. Hell week ended on a Saturday night/Sunday morning at 3 or 4AM. I went back to my dorm room and fell fast asleep. Not more than a couple hours later the phone startled me awake. It was Adam.

"You coming to the race, man? I'll pick you up."

"Sure, I'm up. Why not?" I said.

Wake up #1.

Several hours later, after we registered and warmed up, we were sitting on the grass beside the road awaiting the start of the race when I fell asleep. I think I dreamed that I won the race. Then I was startled awake for the second time of the morning, only this time by the water of Adam's bottle dripping on my head and down my back.

"Get up, man! The race is starting!"

Wake up #2.

Today, Adam startled me awake for a third time. I was technically "up" but I was hardly awake. And then I read an email which informed me that Adam had made a very significant donation to my fundraising campaign for CURED. I was suddenly wide awake.

Wake up #3.

I always liked Adam very much, but after college we fell out of touch. Through the miracle of Facebook we reconnected, as people do. We've since exchanged a few emails and wall posts, but it's been almost 15 years since Adam and I had any real ongoing contact. Adam's gesture surprised and moved me, and sure as hell woke me up when I checked my email just before 5 this morning. So Adam, if you're reading, thank you for your generosity and for your friendship. It's acts of kindness like yours that keep me motivated to continue waking up well before the sun!